Sunday – Faith, Family & Formation Day

Growing up, my mother had us in church every Sunday.  I can hear her words in my head like it was yesterday, “After all that God gives you each week, you can at least get out of bed and spend one hour with Him!” Sundays were a “day of rest,” a day to honor God and a day to spend time with family. Sundays were “Faith and Family Day.”

That was just the beginning of our Sunday, though. My mother would fry chicken and okra and make homemade mashed potatoes and gravy on Sundays – enough for a village, literally. My older siblings’ friends would come over and feast, too. My mother’s cooking drew all the neighborhood kids to our house on a regular.  Everyone wanted to be at the Carpenter’s house for Mrs. “C’s ” home-cooked meals.

My mother also used Sundays as a way to prepare for the week ahead. She did the grocery shopping, the laundry, she cleaned the house and she looked at the week in advance, making sure she had all our bases covered when she returned to her busy work week.

Once or twice I would try to sneak back to bed and nap, but I learned early on that was never a good idea.  My mother would come into my room, catch me in bed and angrily yell, “If I’m up working, EVERYONE’S up working! Get out of that bed and start helping!” She was a workhouse and she didn’t slow down until all the work was done. Oh! and those neighborhood kids? That got put to work, too. My parents treated them just like their own kids. We all had to earn our keep.

When I became a mother, I picked up from where my mom left off.  Before the kids and I moved away from our village of a family, we used to go to church every Sunday with everyone. Our family took up two pews every Sunday. Then we all had lunch together before going our separate ways to prepare for the week ahead just as we were taught to do.

I realized that investing four hours on a Sunday afternoon could save a ton of time (and heartache) during the busy work week. It also gave me quality time with the kids, teaching them what I had been taught.  We did our grocery shopping, washed our clothes, cleaned house, meal prepped for the week and laid out the events or schedule for the week ahead.

This was also a good time for me to clean out the kids’ backpacks. You never know what you might find in there. Anything from a leftover smushed sandwich underneath a heavy binder to a forgotten birthday invitation for the upcoming weekend. I would go through their backpacks and papers looking for loose ends. Did the kids have homework assignments or projects due that they had not told me about? Any upcoming field trips? Sports practices or games? Birthday parties to attend? Did we need to buy gifts? Events at school that needed special costumes or supplies? Sunday was the day I used to lay it all out, get organized and plan ahead – I call it “Formation Day.”

When the children were in elementary school, I met a couple with four kids and both of the parents had demanding careers. My daughter played soccer with their twin daughters. This couple kept a family calendar on the kitchen wall to keep track of everyone’s activities each week. If something was not on the kitchen calendar, it was probably going to get forgotten. This system worked for them.

During my first marriage I blended with a man who had three kids of his own. We were a household of seven when we blended – five kids in all. I used this family calendar concept in our household that I still use today. We have a dry erase family calendar on the kitchen wall with color-coded activities and it is always up to date so that the entire family knows everyone’s commitments and obligations. This way the kids know by just looking at the calendar when I am set for trial, when any of the kids have sports games, and a big picture look at the month ahead so everyone knows if there are any upcoming vacations or school holidays. It really works.

We also have a magnetized doodle board on the refrigerator where we leave fun notes to each other. Sometimes we write loving words, sometimes the kids poke at each other and sometimes the kids’ friends leave us sweet notes like “We love the Carpenters!” After a long day at work,  I sometimes go to the refrigerator to start dinner and smile as I looked up to see what someone has written on our doodle board. But as the kids got older -especially my son, Nate- I had to monitor the content a little more…it would not be out of the ordinary to come home to drawings symbolizing boys’ genitalia. Sigh. Oh, but these are the memories made that we will miss when the kids are raised and the house is empty.

In the mean time, when you’re in the thick of running a busy household, no mom wants to get that mid-morning panicky call of “I forgot my project at home,” or “It’s picture day and we forgot.” When we take time to organize the calendar each week, coordinate rides and make sure sports bags, school bags and lunch bags are prepared, you would be amazed at how much time gets saved during the fast-paced work/school week, as well as how much it cuts down on tears and drama. A little time on a Sunday afternoon saves mega time during the regular week.

May everyone have a blessed Sunday and a successful week ahead!